Yoblog - Musings of a Church Youth Officer

I can kinda answer that from a personal note but not about a marriage. Not that it wouldn’t last but that it wasn’t right.

I am now almost 4 weeks single after a relationship that started back in November/December 2006. Quite a few of my friends, my family and some random observers said it wasn’t good for me, I was changing and the girl wasn’t good for me. Yes we fought and there was niggling doubts at times and I should have really split sooner but I didn’t, I kept on thinking it would get better. I was constantly lying to myself.
What I’m trying to say is that despite what people said about the relationship, I wouldn’t listen and I know that if I convert that into a marriage, I’d have been the same.

My brother did have a 5 minute “I told you so” moment but he did deserve it.

Or to put the other side - I was on the receiving end of someone saying it to me a month before we got married and was deeply offended (as was my fiance) as we felt it was a judgement on our maturity and discernment - as well as on the judgement of the priest who’d agreed to marry us! The fall out from it took almost a year to smooth over. We, however, are still happily married.

I think I’d say you’d need to pray that kind of gut feeling through and seek wise counsel before you approach one of the betrothed.

Thanks for both your insightful comments.
It would be much easier to say what you thought if you were actually asked - but even then it would be very hard to be truthful if you know someone is seeking approval.
I guess whatever relationships we have all make us what and who we are today.